|Name||If I thought about my life this way|
|Size||70 x 100|
|Type||Acrylic on canvas|
If I was to think about my life in such a way, of what I will leave behind me, and then live that way.
I would think that everything in my path was there to teach me some wisdom, which I needed to learn, so that it could guide me to my next teacher.
I would think that this wisdom were the meanings, which I had chosen for this journey, for what I would leave behind me.
I would understand that humility was my most important assistant teacher, whom I would quietly listen to.
I would understand that responsibility was my most highly educated teacher, the one who would check my test with her red pen, my teacher next to whom I quietly listen.
I would receive the freedom, where all my feelings would be my equally important guests.
I would take fear, anxiety, sorrow, insecurity, all to be my guests, I would feed them and give them drinks, I would be equally hospitable, as I was to happiness, joy and success, to all the beautiful, all that is easy.
I would understand, that if I do not receive my guests’ opposites, if I do not accept their existence, then I can also not live out the other opposite with its fully deserved force.
If I leave out responsibility, then I lack freedom, freedom to live.
By giving this freedom to my guests, I myself received it.
I felt the power of light after darkness, I felt the exploding joy of a spring sunrise. Because I had the experience of the opposite, and I felt the greatest gratitude, for being allowed to live that light of every morning, without taking it for granted anymore.
I noticed the world had changed, but it was I who had changed. And the world changed.
Through every accepting breath, new strength grew within me, to live a little more fragile and vulnerable, always.
Through every broken self-made presumption, through every inhaled acceptance, I let go of a piece of my own control and received in replacement, confidence in life.
Fear began to protect my fragility, so that I could be a feeling human. But everything else, instead of fear, began to turn into courage to live towards my next teacher.
The world was no longer for me, but I was for the world. Deep meaningfulness was born, which gave the strength to face the darkness and the storm, and to see in that moment, behind them. That force of the greater meaning.
And today I thought, spring came, it came again after a long dark winter. In its tenacity it begins its new growth again, as it does every year, infinitely, whether we want it to or not.
Nature does it all, such strength, such flexibility, and think, we are part of that nature and its force.
Through the power of interaction, with ourselves and the world, we can build that resilience, flexibility, which nature around us has.
I think about what power natures cycle has, when you live on a strong foundation of values, fulfilling your purpose.
What a gift nature’s mirror is for us.
I painted the sunflowers which the sun brought.